Q. Mr. Spock. How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Exactly 1.00000000000000.

Q. How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

Q. How many administrative assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. It won’t be changed until you fill out form #3422V – the light bulb change request form.

Q. How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A. This topic was resumed from last week’s discussion, but is incomplete, pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week.

Q. How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but it takes them three visits.

Q. How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, the darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

Q. How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it takes eight million years.

Q. How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four, one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.

Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, they merely change the standard to darkness and then they upgrade the customers.

Q. How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.

Q. How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

Q. How many Pentium owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 0.99987, but that’s close enough for most applications.

Q. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 1,000,001. One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

Q. How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

Q. How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. How many visitors to the modern art gallery does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, one to do it and one to say “Huh! My four-year old could’ve done that!”

Q. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change it, and one not to change it.