Light bulbs & other jokes!

All ‘jokes’ on this blog are provided “AS IS” with no warranties, and confer no rights. All entries claim to be humourous  but don’t necessarily reflect the opinion of my employer.  STEEV waives all laughter guarantee rights.

Q. How many climate sceptics does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

Q. How many daylighting consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?  A. None – the sun will be back up in exactly 10 hours.

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None – it’s a hardware problem.

Q. How many product manufacturers does it take to change a light bulb? A. 10,001. Ten thousand to resist the change for as long as possible, and then the same 10,000 to tell you how many Leadership in Energy and Environmental Degisgn (LEED) points you can earn from making the change with their product. Oh, and one to change it!

Q. How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Four – one to change it and the other three to deny they had anything to do with it.

Q. How many salvage contractors does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Two – one to change it, and one to sell the broken light bulb as aggregate for landscaping around the new light bulb.

Q. How many life-cycle assessment experts does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two – one to change it, and one to change it back again after more data has come in.

Q. How many inventors of new lighting technology does it take to change a light bulb? A. It just looks broken – the colour temperature on these is in on the Celsius scale.

Q. How many natural builders does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two – one to change it, and one to sculpt a decorative yet tasteful mud-and-straw wall around the old light bulb.

Q. How many lighting designers does it take to change a light bulb? A. What do you mean light bulb? That’s a lamp. What’ you’re calling a ‘socket’ is a luminaire, and I think you’d get better efficacy if you changed the ballast instead.

Q. How many green building consultants does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None. Someone else did it. I was at a conference.

Q. How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. One – but the lightbulb has to want to change.

Q. How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Thirty – one to change the light bulb and 29 to carry out a fact finding mission to the Maldives to see how they change lightbulbs there.

And finally … a parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth. Obviously you can’t confess all your sins on one go but must separate bottle, papers and plastic confessions.